In this blog will detail different storyboards, animatics and feedback.
28/04 / 2017
As a blessing in disguise the client of the brief didn’t come in, because the animatic had lots of issues, wasn’t even able to complete it due to it being so long. Not sure why it was good idea to speed up the voice. It was originally 3 min and 22 seconds but sped it up to 2 min 47 sec.
Practice pitch to lecturers and other people.
( Half animatic)
its really quite.
-Remove any threats
-Don’t need to mention finger up the butt, they’ll know there getting things In there you seem to linger at that fact.
– Don’t need to mention Pulp removal.
-The wording need to be more clinical
-You can say they reduce chances of having the colonoscopy with good bowel prep. But not “ do it well do it once” because they might have to have it multiple time even with good preparation. For example you can say “ do it well, do it less”
-They are only going to see the animation if they having it.
-Don’t need to name specifics
– Just say to find problems.
-People fear the “ C” word cancer.
-Just mention about the actual bowel is.
In conclusion: going to cut out everything that doesn’t involve the actual bowel prep, change the wording, don’t mention anything about cancer.
2nd Tuesday may 2017
Showed people a 2nd draft of the storyboard
-Looks a lot better than previous one, less threating.
– its good you changed the world cancer to problematic, Doctors can give people bad news without actually saying anything for example a shadow on a lung, they would just say shadow on a lung and only say what it is if the patient asks.
-To mention that the fluid flush out the system, watch some videos and see what phrases they use.
– Makes it seem that they shit themselves, you should change the sleep scene after the turtle.
– Change the incontinence pads after the toilet.
-Why is there a ear?, you don’t have to be literal, it’ll make sense if you kept the clock and remove the mouth. The mouth is distracting; you could replace it with a plate of food a cross over it.
-People got confused over the 2-hour car thing. Thinking they need to start drinking 2 hours before the appointment, which is not the case.
In conclusion after the feedback: going to change the orders of things, remove the ear and swap it out with typography instead, rethink what would replace the key, rephrase some of the lines.
Storyboard version 3:
-replaced the mouth with a plate of food.
-Replaced some of the stick men drawings with neater draft colours.
– altered the order of storyboard.
-The doctor as a colonoscope is creative but fear inducing like those medieval doctors with the crow masks.
- Soften cartoon character.
– The polyp turning into a polyp with a spear is fear inducing, don’t take it too far. The Polyp hiding and popping up is fine.
-Patients are over 55 mainly
- Get information across.
-Impressive stylized images.
– To soften the colour palette, there’s a lot of blacks and dark colours.
- ,- less empathises of food more on bowel prep drink. For example one slide for food, one slide with the approved food, one side that isn’t.
- Sunrise is good.
- Fun tagline
- They Wanted a narrator
cut out the polyp with the spear. A table for approved food to be dropped in.
After hearing what was said in other group, going to stick to mainly just the bowel prep.
Normal human doctor (no mask)
Whisper (watery bowel movement is normal)
May get rid of incontinence pads.